Silence

Sometimes I wonder where my future is headed.  I question why God brought me to this place in time, and why certain things happened the way they did.  Leading up to and during college, it felt like my path was pretty clear, like God was directing me and giving me purpose.  I think some of that is a natural result of the necessity of making decisions about where to go to school, what to major in, etc.  Everything I was doing was in pursuit of a specific career (little did I know it was a career I wouldn't end up wanting).

Since graduating, the path hasn't been quite so defined.  I can't really complain -- I love my job, my church, my friends, and I'm pretty happy with my life as it is -- but sometimes I wonder what else I could or should be doing and whether God is really guiding me in a specific direction.

The other day, I read this in My Utmost for His Highest, "Abraham went through thirteen years of silence, but in those years all self-sufficiency was destroyed; there was no possibility left of relying on common-sense ways. Those years of silence were a time of discipline, not of displeasure."

When I think of Abraham, I think of someone who was very close to God.  He clearly heard from God and followed his leading.  He fully trust in God, to the point of leaving behind everything he knew to go to an unknown place with an unknown future.  I think of him being in constant communion with God...but thirteen years of silence?  That's a long time!  And yet Abraham still believed.

I love that last sentence because I'm sure it was easy for Abraham to think God was not happy with him if he was silent for so long, but He had a purpose in the silence.

It's easy for me to think that God is displeased with where I'm at when the days feel quiet.  Did He get tired of me not listening?  Am I too complacent? Did He give up on me? Did He move on to someone else?

Or maybe I'm asking the wrong questions.

Maybe He's teaching me something in the silence.

Maybe He's working on something I can't yet see.

I need to learn to wait.  And to listen.