It was not an accident that I read Romans 12 yesterday morning before heading to work. Verse 15 in particular stuck out to me: "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." I remember reading it over more than once, and thinking "I wish I was better at that."
It seems like a simple enough concept, something that should come naturally. But sometimes I really struggle with both ends of the spectrum. Envy & jealousy creep in, and instead of being excited for a friend's big news, I'm thinking, "What about me? When is it my turn?" And when someone is going through something difficult, instead of just being present with them and sharing in their tears, I feel awkward and worried about what I'm supposed to say, which turns into me focusing on me again.
At work, a dear friend announced her engagement, and I simultaneously felt joy and sadness. I was genuinely happy for her, and at the same time, there was that little voice saying, "What about me?"
And then I heard another voice..."Rejoice with those who rejoice..."
So I prayed for God to change my heart. I know deep down that someone else's joy does not negate my own. Someone else's success does not mean my failure. But I need to be reminded sometimes.
And then, later, through tears, a friend confided in me about some struggles and hurt, and I didn't have the perfect words to say, and I started worrying about how I might sound and whether I was doing a good job. But then I just did my best to listen, and I heard that voice again..."mourn with those who mourn."
How quickly I forget.
God, keep reminding me. Change my heart. Help me to listen well, to love well, and to celebrate more.
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