Saturday

I can't believe the weekend is half over!  Today was a good day, but didn't really feel like the weekend since I had to go into work.  We had a volunteer meeting at 1pm, which stole a lot of my day, but it was fun...great turn out and got to meet some neat people.  Getting excited about the festival coming soon!

After the meeting, I decided to check out Goodwill and scored some good finds.  Then, I thought I'd quick grab some groceries before going home.  Little did I know the grocery store was a mad house.  Not only was it Saturday, it was the day before Superbowl, the day before a forecasted snowstorm, and apparently they were having a big sale.  A perfect storm of "S"s!  I could not believe how many people were there!  Every checkout lane was open and every line crossed the main aisle and spilled into the clothing sections.   It was nuts!

I decided to just have a good attitude and not get frustrated.  I tried to smile at people as much as possible and encourage the checkout guy (who was not shy about sharing his true feelings about the situation and emphasizing how LONG of a day he had to work!  Seriously...8 whole hours!).  At one point he asked for my ID and I got a good laugh when he said, "Oh...you look more like you'd have been born in '93!"  haha  I'll take that as a compliment.

Despite everything, it was a fairly productive day.  Made some Superbowl snacks, froze some smoothies for the week ahead, did some laundry & some cleaning.  Not too shabby.

And, I felt pretty satisfied when I created this from my groceries:

Food art.  Pretty, right?

Guess I should have bought some blueberries!

Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow!

As I was leaving work today, a thought crossed my mind that I didn't think I'd ever have:

"I wish we had more snow."

Anyone who's known me for at least a couple years could tell you that winter is not my favorite season.  In fact, it's been at the bottom of the list for most of my life. (Probably all the years since I outgrew school snow days.) However, in the last year or two I've tried to have a better attitude about it.  

When we got our first snow this winter in November, I decided that this year was going to be different.  I made a declaration on Facebook (because of course that's where you declare your most important thoughts  & goals) that I was going to embrace winter.  I wasn't going to complain.  I was going to enjoy it.

And I have.

Now, granted, we haven't had the worst winter in history, but it's been cold and off-and-on snowy.  And I haven't really minded.  I've noticed how pretty it is.  I've enjoyed my new snow boots.  I've enjoyed shoveling.  And I've toted skis around in my car for weeks.

The last sentence being the reason for my opening thought.  In my effort to embrace winter, I actually bought skis and then the snow melted!  I haven't even put them on once!  So sad.

So, now I'm wishing for snow (gasp!)...

And apparently it's working because just a few hours later, I was driving through this:

And looking like this (while stopped to get gas...not while driving!):

Bring it on!

(just for a little while...then bring on 70 degrees in March!)

Crunchy

I'm pretty excited that I just ordered this yesterday:  http://www.culturesforhealth.com/kombucha-tea-starter-kit.html

Can't wait to try it out!  I'll let you know how it goes! :)

Silence

Sometimes I wonder where my future is headed.  I question why God brought me to this place in time, and why certain things happened the way they did.  Leading up to and during college, it felt like my path was pretty clear, like God was directing me and giving me purpose.  I think some of that is a natural result of the necessity of making decisions about where to go to school, what to major in, etc.  Everything I was doing was in pursuit of a specific career (little did I know it was a career I wouldn't end up wanting).

Since graduating, the path hasn't been quite so defined.  I can't really complain -- I love my job, my church, my friends, and I'm pretty happy with my life as it is -- but sometimes I wonder what else I could or should be doing and whether God is really guiding me in a specific direction.

The other day, I read this in My Utmost for His Highest, "Abraham went through thirteen years of silence, but in those years all self-sufficiency was destroyed; there was no possibility left of relying on common-sense ways. Those years of silence were a time of discipline, not of displeasure."

When I think of Abraham, I think of someone who was very close to God.  He clearly heard from God and followed his leading.  He fully trust in God, to the point of leaving behind everything he knew to go to an unknown place with an unknown future.  I think of him being in constant communion with God...but thirteen years of silence?  That's a long time!  And yet Abraham still believed.

I love that last sentence because I'm sure it was easy for Abraham to think God was not happy with him if he was silent for so long, but He had a purpose in the silence.

It's easy for me to think that God is displeased with where I'm at when the days feel quiet.  Did He get tired of me not listening?  Am I too complacent? Did He give up on me? Did He move on to someone else?

Or maybe I'm asking the wrong questions.

Maybe He's teaching me something in the silence.

Maybe He's working on something I can't yet see.

I need to learn to wait.  And to listen.

I wish...

• I could travel more
• More of my friends lived closer
• Coffee & chocolate could be as nutritious as veggies
• Teeth didn't get cavities
• I could dance
• College classes weren't so expensive
• I could go skydiving again
• I had a personal hair stylist
• Legs didn't have hair
• Gas prices would stay under $2/gallon
• Weekends were 3 days long
• Summer camp could be real life
• I was sleeping right now

TGIF

Happy Friday!  This week was long and fast at the same time.

Highlights:

1. Dinner with my roommates - so grateful for them!  Thai food so spicy it burned my throat...but so yummy!
2. Small group with just the girls - and the babies.  Love getting to cuddle those little ones.
3. Coffee shop hopping after an afternoon dentist appointment.  Had to leave the first place after my internet time ran out.  Was nice to just sit & work in a different environment.
4. Bingo night with the wild & crazy kids that I tutor.  They were so wound up, but I love em!
5. Finding the courage to talk to strangers just to offer encouraging words or to strike up conversation with people I run into who I think won't remember me.  It's fun making connections.
6. Watching funny squirrel videos, even though I missed Squirrel Appreciation Day.
7. Getting my Notary Public card in the mail - it's official!
8. Making homemade sweet potato fries and lasagna and making a huge mess of the kitchen.
9. Trying out my new glasses.
10. Finding time to relax.

Expectation

I just listened to a podcast about a man who is blind but uses a clicking noise with his mouth to sense what's around him - like echolocation.   He does this so well that he can do most things on his own without a problem, including things like riding a bike.

He didn't even realize this was unusual until he was in around 5th grade and met another blind student who could not get around by himself.  Someone led him everywhere, brought him his lunch, etc.  He was basically afraid to be alone.  And this shocked the first guy, who couldn't understand it.

The difference, the podcast postulated, was the expectations put on each boy by those around them.  The first boy had parents who let him climb trees, explore the world around him, and allowed him to learn from his mistakes, even if it could be dangerous at times.  He lived as "normally" as possible.  The second boy had parents who tried to help him by catering to him, not expecting him to be able to do things like everyone else.

As an adult, the first man had testing done on his brain that showed the visual cortex reacting in the same way as a person who can see.  Essentially, he said he could "see" images in his head when he clicked. (This was not true in other blind people who did not use clicking.)

Anyway, long story short, the conclusion was that our expectations have the power to make a blind person see.  Pretty amazing stuff!

Apply that to other situations, and think of the power we have to influence those around us for the good.

What do you expect of your friends, your family, your co-workers?  What about yourself?  Are you setting the bar too low?

What crazy, unexpected things could we accomplish if we just expected more?

New Look

Well, it's getting late, but I didn't want to break my blogging streak, so this will be short & sweet.

After probably 10 years, I finally got some new glasses.  I don't wear glasses very often since I usually wear contacts, but my old pair was getting a little worn, so I decided it was time for something new.  I got talked into two pairs - the professional one & the fun one.  Of course, I loved them both at the store, but now that they're home, I'm not as sure.  They'll grow on me, though.

I don't have a picture of the professional ones yet, but here are the fun ones:

Now, I think it's time for a hair cut!

If you give a mouse a cookie....

21 Days to New Habits?

Some say it takes 21 days to form a new habit.

Upon further research, apparently that's a myth.  (On a side note, if you don't know the "apparently kid" you should check this out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rz5TGN7eUcM  You're welcome.)

One article I read said realistically, it takes 2-8 months to build new behaviors into your life.

In any case, I've been working on some new habits, and I'm about to hit the 21 day mark, so I'll call it a small victory. :)

I'm not one for New Year's resolutions, but I did decide to start some new things on January 1st, and so far they've been successful.

1. Gratitude Jar

Every day I take a little slip of paper and write down something I'm thankful for, something good that happened that day, or something I might want to remember.  The goal is to be able to look back at the end of the year & see all the things I have to be grateful for.  So far it's been a great way to reflect on the day and it's fun to watch the jar fill up!  (Another random side: This jar used to be my fish bowl :) )

2. Q&A a Day Journal

I saw this journal on someone else's blog and thought it was such a cool idea.  There's a question for each day of the year with lines for 5 different years.  I can't wait to see how my answers compare next year.

(Don't worry, I think today's answer is "no")


3. My Utmost for His Highest

I'm pretty sure this book has been in my house at least since I was in high school.  I've read it in bits and pieces over the years, but I always get something new out of it.  I've been reading it daily since the beginning of the month, and even though I don't always understand all of Mr. Chambers' fancy language, it always challenges me.  If you've never read it, I highly recommend it...and I think they have versions in more modern language now as well.


I guess if I had to give this month a theme, I would say "Reflection."  I hope to keep these habits going even as the busy season approaches at work.

Only 1-7 months to go to form the habit!

Things I've Learned After 3 Weeks Off of Facebook

• I don't need to know as much as I thought I did
• I have more free time in my day than I realized (and I can still find frivolous ways to fill that time, even without FB)
• Instead of feeling more lonely, I feel less so
• I can survive without seeing every photo of all of my friends' children or what everyone ate for dinner
• I can still relate to people without saying, "Hey, did you see _____ (fill in the blank) on Facebook?"

And...

• Apparently Facebook misses me more than I miss it because it keeps sending me random notification emails about things it never notified me about before!
• Thanks for making me feel loved, FB

Happy Sunday!

Today was a good day, with a nice mix of relaxation & productivity.  I started the day by going to church followed by a visit to a local coffee shop for some reading.  Then this afternoon, I spent quite a while in the kitchen, which I've really come to enjoy.

First I made some "clean out the refrigerator" chili with various leftover ingredients, which turned out to be quite delicious!  Ground beef, tomato sauce, tomato paste, homemade salsa, black beans, pinto beans, corn, and seasonings.  I paired it with some bake-at-home organic rosemary bread that I found at Aldi.  Perfect dinner for a winter day and plenty of leftovers for lunch this week - bonus!

Then I made this granola:  http://www.themom100.com/the-mom-100-blog/recipes/crunchy-chewy-granola/

I love this recipe...it really is chewy and crunchy, and so easy to make!

Next, I decided to prep some easy grab & go breakfast items for the week.  I find it so much less stressful to get ready in the morning when I don't have to worry about preparing breakfast & lunch.  

I made some overnight oats - almond milk, plain yogurt, steel cut oats, flax or chia seeds, berries, and a little bit of jam for sweetness.  There are tons of variations online, but I usually just use whatever I have on hand.  Coconut is a good addition too.  Jut put all the ingredients in a jar & shake it up, then mix and eat in the morning.  So yummy!

Finally, I made a couple of smoothies to freeze -- I haven't tried this before, but one of my co-workers does it & says it works out well.  You just have to remember to put them in the fridge the night before so there is time to thaw.

I made a PB chocolate banana mix with almond milk and spinach.  Look forward to seeing how they turn out defrosted.

Looking forward to a great week ahead!

Best Part of My Day

Standing in the return line at Kohl's.  The surprisingly long return line considering it is not the week after Christmas and it is 7pm on a Saturday night (yes, I'm a party animal, I know!).  

I walk up behind an adorable elderly couple and casually comment on the long line.  The guy says, "You're not in a hurry, are you?"

I shrug. "No, not really."

"Because, if you are, I can go up there and speed things up," he says confidently.

We share a laugh.  Then he turns around.  A few moments later, he turns to show me a picture on his phone.

"Look at that pile of snow!" he exclaims, showing me a mound created by the plow truck, as if it's the most amazing thing he's ever seen.

"Wow!" I say. I ask where the picture was taken.

"At the old folks home."  He laughs.

He turns back around.  His wife says something quietly, probably telling him to leave me alone. :)

A few seconds pass, then he's back with another photo.

"That's my dog."

"Aww, cute!" I reply.

"He's dead now," he says bluntly, then he laughs again.  I can't help but laugh too.

Then it's his turn at the register.

"I'll make it quick, so you don't have to wait long."

He banters with the clerk, then as he leaves, he says to me, "Thanks for coming in!"

I couldn't help but walk through the rest of the store with a goofy smile on my face.  Oh, the little things.  Day made.


Second Best Part of My Day

Sitting in Starbucks, working on my computer.  Overheard conversation of two twenty-something girls, talking about a friend and her boyfriend.

"Their relationship sounds so boring!  She said they are trying not to make out."

"What?!"

"Yeah, I can't imagine trying not to.  Why would you do that?"

"I know!  It's so fun!"

"What are they going to do if they get married?  Wait a year to have sex for the first time?"

Oh dear.

Pen & Pencils

Today's prompt: When was the last time you wrote something substantive — a letter, a story, a journal entry, etc. — by hand? Could you ever imagine returning to a pre-keyboard era?

Last week - I wrote a letter to my sponsored Compassion child.  :)

I love to write by hand.  I love nice pens.  (The thing I regret most about not teaching is that I don't need to buy school supplies!)  I especially love to write in cursive with a nice pen.  It appalls me that kids don't learn to write in cursive anymore.  I was shocked when my cousin's finance, who is over 20 years old, could not read handwritten cards at her bridal shower!  It's so sad!

I understand that technology is a big deal & kids need to learn typing, but how will they even sign their own name if they aren't taught how to write?

Maybe it's not necessary, but it's an art form that they're missing out on.

Getting emails is great, but there's nothing better than finding a handwritten card in the mailbox.

Goal for the week:  Send a handwritten note every day.

I Got Skills

Today's prompt:  If you could choose to be a master (or mistress) of any skill in the world, which skill would you pick?

First thing that comes to mind...singing.

I really wish I was a better singer.  I can clearly remember two different instances, probably around middle school, when I became aware of my lack of skills in this area.  I had never thought much about it or been self-conscious about my voice until then.  Once was at a youth group event, singing with a church full of kids.  I had brought a friend and I remember hearing her singing next to me and suddenly realizing that she had talent that I did not.  Another time was at a sleepover with friends...these girls loved to sing and dance (another skill I could certainly use improvement in!), and they were belting out Disney songs while we danced around the basement.  I joined in, but was very aware of my inability to carry a tune.

Ever since then, I've been very self-conscious about my voice.  I never sing loudly.  Sometimes I just whisper or mouth the words when I'm in close proximity to others.

If I'm talking to someone about a particular song and they ask, "How does it go?"  I immediately feel awkward.  I know that even if I tried, my version wouldn't sound anything like the real thing.  Usually it's pretty embarrassing.

I've been trying to practice, though, in the comfort of my own car.  :)  Sometimes I think, "maybe I'm not so bad after all."  And then there are other times...like yesterday when I had myself laughing out loud at how horrible & off-key I sounded.

I would love to be a talented singer and not worry about what other people thought.  To be able to sing with confidence and enjoy it.

Maybe it will never happen.

But at least I'm learning to laugh about it, right?

Rejoice With Those Who Rejoice

It was not an accident that I read Romans 12 yesterday morning before heading to work.  Verse 15 in particular stuck out to me:  "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn."  I remember reading it over more than once, and thinking "I wish I was better at that."

It seems like a simple enough concept, something that should come naturally.  But sometimes I really struggle with both ends of the spectrum.  Envy & jealousy creep in, and instead of being excited for a friend's big news, I'm thinking, "What about me?  When is it my turn?"  And when someone is going through something difficult, instead of just being present with them and sharing in their tears, I feel awkward and worried about what I'm supposed to say, which turns into me focusing on me again.

At work, a dear friend announced her engagement, and I simultaneously felt joy and sadness.  I was genuinely happy for her, and at the same time, there was that little voice saying, "What about me?"

And then I heard another voice..."Rejoice with those who rejoice..."

So I prayed for God to change my heart.  I know deep down that someone else's joy does not negate my own.  Someone else's success does not mean my failure.  But I need to be reminded sometimes.

And then, later, through tears, a friend confided in me about some struggles and hurt, and I didn't have the perfect words to say, and I started worrying about how I might sound and whether I was doing a good job.  But then I just did my best to listen, and I heard that voice again..."mourn with those who mourn."

How quickly I forget.

God, keep reminding me.  Change my heart.  Help me to listen well, to love well, and to celebrate more.

Connect the Dots

Today's prompt: Open your nearest book to page 82. Take the third full sentence on the page, and work it into a post somehow.

"We can stay as long as we need to."

One of my college roommates and I are planning a trip to Nashville in April to visit another roommate for spring break. These girls are the best of friends I could ask for. We've all been through a lot over the last several months, so this trip is just what we need to look forward to. It's sure to be full of laughs, good conversation, good food, and crazy adventures. Life has taken us all on different paths since college, but when we're together, it's like we were never apart. It's sweet time that's good for the soul.

When I read the quote on page 82, I imagined that sentence being stated while we're in Nashville.

"We can stay as long as we need to."

As long as we need to heal our wounds, to grow our faith, to figure out our paths, to build each other up...

We might just stay forever.

I know that a week isn't going to be enough. We need each other more than ever.

But a week will have to be enough for now. We have lives in different places that we need to return to. Thankfully, we have email and texting and phones to keep us in touch. It's not the same as being together but it helps. And maybe someday God will bring our paths near again.

But, until then, we'll dream of staying. Of what it would be like to be neighbors. To raise our families together. To have coffee dates and movie nights. To do life together.

Someday we'll stay.

Oh, how sweet that day will be.

From Me to Me

In an effort to write more, I discovered a website that provides daily blog prompts.  I figured I'd give it a try...

Today's prompt:  Write a letter to your 14-year-old self.

Dear Kelsey,

Welcome to high school!  I know the last year was hard, but you made it - congrats!  Moving to a different state, starting 8th grade in a new school, leaving a place & friends you loved - it was hard, but you did it.  It may not have felt like the right thing at the time, but God had a plan.  Later you'll see that His timing was right.  And your time in Virginia will always hold a sweet place in your memory.

This past year, you've made some great friends, and they will stick with you though the challenges of high school. Don't take them for granted. Enjoy this time, but don't believe the people who say, "these are the best years of your life."  Don't worry - it gets so much better than this!  Try to just be yourself, enjoy who you're with, don't try to measure up to the 'popular girls' or try to be someone you're not.  Years from now, no one will care what group you hung out with or if you had the tannest skin or the blondest hair.  Don't worry so much about your weight - you're skinnier than you think, even if you can't see it in the mirror.  Quit counting calories and just eat real food...I promise, you like more fruits & veggies than you think. ;)

The coming years will be difficult at times, but your friends and family will guide you through.  Don't be afraid to take risks.  And when your friend asks you to go to Young Life with her (even if it's just to follow a certain boy)...go!  And when you're invited to go to camp, even when you're scared to death of going alone, go for it!  It will be the beginning of an amazing journey.  I don't want to spoil the ending, but just know you won't regret it for a moment.  That one decision will make a huge impact on many years ahead.

Another thing about taking risks...don't be afraid of going away to college.  I know homeschooling may sound nice & safe now (I know you're not really serious about that...), but your time away at college will be some of the best of your life (as far as I can tell right now, anyway)!  Get excited.  Go boldly!  God will guide you and cross your path with some of the most amazing people and the most incredible experiences.  Enjoy the ride.  It will pass faster than you think.

Remember, life is full of surprises.  Things won't always go as you plan, but God's plan is bigger and better.  Trust in him.  Worry less.  Invest in people.  Don't spend all your time on homework!  Have fun.  Be you.  You have lots to look forward to!

Love,

Me

P.S.  The pigs in biology class aren't as scary as they seem.

P.P.S. Be extra careful with that baby doll you have to take home for class. :)

New Beginnings

I can't believe it's been 3 years since I've written anything on here!  And I really can't believe it's been 6 years since I started this little blog.  I'm pretty sure at this point, it's just me, myself, and I actually reading this, but I've been challenged to try writing again, so I'll see how it goes.

I just spent a long time skimming through all my previous posts.  In some ways it's encouraging to see how life has changed - new jobs, new friends, new homes, and so on, and in other ways it's depressing to think I'm still asking a lot of the same questions and struggling with the same things.  (Not to mention it makes me realize what a bad memory I have...I do not even remember applying to grad school!  ha!)  I guess that's why it's good to write and reflect....

Putting words on paper or on the screen is scary to me.  It seems so permanent and exposed.  I even have a fear of writing things in my own personal journal because someone, someday could find it and read it.  Not that I have deep, dark secrets...it just scares me for some reason.  I'm afraid of being wrong (and leaving written proof!) or of sounding dumb or pathetic or maybe of looking back 6 years later and realizing life isn't what I expected it to be and that I still don't have my questions answered.

I do know through it all that God is in control and he knows the big picture even if I don't.  I will continue to trust in Him and dream about 3 years or 6 years from now when I'll look back at this post and think life is not what I expected it to be...it's so much better than what I could have imagined!

It's a new year.  I don't know what's ahead, but I want to take risks and live this year well.  I want to live this year with purpose.  With joy.  With anticipation.  With HOPE.

And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. ~Romans 5:5