When I think of Moses, I usually think of a man of great faith and obedience to God. Hebrews 11 says of Moses, “By faith…he chose to be mistreated along with the people of God rather than to enjoy the pleasures of sin…. By faith he left Egypt, not fearing the king’s anger; he persevered because he saw him who is invisible.” I’d say that’s a pretty honorable way to be remembered.
But do you know how many times Moses questioned God when God told him to go to the king? At least seven times! Moses said things like: “Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh?” “What if they do not believe me or listen to me?” “Since I speak with faltering lips, why would Pharaoh listen to me?” Moses had lots of fears and doubts.
God not only appears to Moses in a burning bush, but speaks audibly to him. (Haven’t we all at times wished for a sign so clearly from God?) But even with the Lord’s reassurance, Moses remains unconvinced. God says, “Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.”
Moses’ response? “O Lord, please send someone else to do it.”
Is this really the same guy they’re talking about in Hebrews?
It’s a little disappointing to see Moses this way, but at the same time, I guess it’s kind of comforting. If God can do such amazing things through this guy, with all his doubts and complaints and weaknesses, it gives us hope that he can do great things through us too. God didn’t give up on Moses and he hasn’t given up on us either.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
Here & Now
Could it be that I’m trying too hard to find something that I’ve already got? I constantly struggle with the question of what I should do with my life. What kind of job should I look for? Where should I go? How should I be serving? How should I use my degree? Should I go back to school? And so it goes…
But maybe I’m asking the wrong questions. Maybe I should just be asking how God wants to use me where I’m at right now. I recently read a paper that I wrote during my final semester of college in which I was supposed to basically sum up my college experience and set goals for my future. In one part, I said I was unsure about teaching, but I knew that I was passionate about & wanted to be involved in camping ministry. And here I am. I got just what I said I wanted. So why all the questions?
My mom sent me a devotion today entitled “Hiding in Fields.” It talked about the story of David in 1 Samuel when God anointed David King of Israel then sent him right back to tending his sheep. God clearly told David that he would be king, but it didn’t happen immediately. David continued ‘hiding in fields,’ faithfully doing his everyday work until the time was right for the next step. David knew he had a much greater calling in the future, but that didn’t discount the work he was doing right then, right where he was at.
This isn’t an excuse to settle, it’s a call to be faithful and to trust fully in God, even when we don’t feel like we’re doing great, life-changing things. We’ll never be fulfilled if we’re always looking for something bigger and better. We will only be satisfied when we learn to submit to God and let Him use us for his glory at all times and in all places.
For the paper I referenced earlier, I was asked to develop a mission statement for my life. Here’s what I came up with: “My purpose is to love God and love others through obeying God faithfully, serving with humility, and building meaningful relationships in the context of community.” If I’m truly living up to this, I think I’ll be okay – wherever I’m at, whatever I’m doing.
But maybe I’m asking the wrong questions. Maybe I should just be asking how God wants to use me where I’m at right now. I recently read a paper that I wrote during my final semester of college in which I was supposed to basically sum up my college experience and set goals for my future. In one part, I said I was unsure about teaching, but I knew that I was passionate about & wanted to be involved in camping ministry. And here I am. I got just what I said I wanted. So why all the questions?
My mom sent me a devotion today entitled “Hiding in Fields.” It talked about the story of David in 1 Samuel when God anointed David King of Israel then sent him right back to tending his sheep. God clearly told David that he would be king, but it didn’t happen immediately. David continued ‘hiding in fields,’ faithfully doing his everyday work until the time was right for the next step. David knew he had a much greater calling in the future, but that didn’t discount the work he was doing right then, right where he was at.
This isn’t an excuse to settle, it’s a call to be faithful and to trust fully in God, even when we don’t feel like we’re doing great, life-changing things. We’ll never be fulfilled if we’re always looking for something bigger and better. We will only be satisfied when we learn to submit to God and let Him use us for his glory at all times and in all places.
For the paper I referenced earlier, I was asked to develop a mission statement for my life. Here’s what I came up with: “My purpose is to love God and love others through obeying God faithfully, serving with humility, and building meaningful relationships in the context of community.” If I’m truly living up to this, I think I’ll be okay – wherever I’m at, whatever I’m doing.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Trust & Worry
Why is it so hard to completely trust God? Lately, I keep hearing Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." I've heard this verse countless times before, but I've been thinking more about what it really means to trust with ALL my heart. Am I giving myself fully to God? Am I surrendering ALL parts of my life & my future? If so, I shouldn't feel worried or stressed, right? I read somewhere that worry & stress are signs of a lack of faith in God, which makes sense.
I think a lot of my worry comes from not wanting to do the wrong thing. I want to do God's will, but I don't always clearly know what that is. What if I make the wrong decision? What if my motives aren't right? How do I KNOW for sure?
It seems like most of my thoughts are questions that just lead to more questions & rarely do I come up with any clear answers. I wish life was more like math - every problem has a definite answer and there's a clear way to get to it (I know, I'm a nerd because I actually like math). Although, I suppose that would make life quite boring & pointless. I guess I just need to learn to enjoy the uncertainty & adventure of it all. :)
Lord, help me to trust you COMPLETELY! And help me to relax & enjoy the ride.
I think a lot of my worry comes from not wanting to do the wrong thing. I want to do God's will, but I don't always clearly know what that is. What if I make the wrong decision? What if my motives aren't right? How do I KNOW for sure?
It seems like most of my thoughts are questions that just lead to more questions & rarely do I come up with any clear answers. I wish life was more like math - every problem has a definite answer and there's a clear way to get to it (I know, I'm a nerd because I actually like math). Although, I suppose that would make life quite boring & pointless. I guess I just need to learn to enjoy the uncertainty & adventure of it all. :)
Lord, help me to trust you COMPLETELY! And help me to relax & enjoy the ride.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Lukewarm
I’ve been thinking a lot about prayer and faith and God’s work in my life. I’ve always had a hard time being intentional about noticing the ways that God answers my prayers or pinpointing times that God is working or teaching me something. I know that God is active in my life and that He’s always moving all around me, but I don’t always take the time to see Him or listen to what He’s saying. One thing I think I need to do is be more specific and more persistent in prayer, but there are a few things that I’ve heard and read recently that have really challenged me as well.
One came from the book Crazy Love. In one super-convicting chapter about being Lukewarm Christians (which Chan says is really an oxymoron), he writes, “Lukewarm people do not live by faith; their lives are structured so they never have to…. The truth is, their lives wouldn’t look much different if they suddenly stopped believing in God.” That wasn’t exactly the most encouraging thing to read, but I guess truth is hard to take sometimes. Have I made my life so comfortable that I don’t need God? Sure, I face trials sometimes, but rarely anything that I can’t handle on my own or with the help of my friends or family. Although I know my first response should be to turn to God, if I’m completely honest, it doesn’t always happen that way. How often am I challenged to exercise true faith? Am I taking enough risks?
Another challenging thought came from my pastor, who basically said that we don’t experience miracles because we don’t put ourselves in position to need them. This goes along the same lines…we’re not challenged to exercise our faith because we live such cushioned lives. I believe that God is faithful and that He will always provide what I need, but I haven’t often had those beliefs put to the test.
Writing this actually scares me a bit because I know God often responds to things like this by challenging us. But I really do want an authentic faith. I definitely don’t want to be lukewarm.
“I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm – neither hot nor cold – I am about to spit you out of my mouth.” ~Revelation 3:15
"
One came from the book Crazy Love. In one super-convicting chapter about being Lukewarm Christians (which Chan says is really an oxymoron), he writes, “Lukewarm people do not live by faith; their lives are structured so they never have to…. The truth is, their lives wouldn’t look much different if they suddenly stopped believing in God.” That wasn’t exactly the most encouraging thing to read, but I guess truth is hard to take sometimes. Have I made my life so comfortable that I don’t need God? Sure, I face trials sometimes, but rarely anything that I can’t handle on my own or with the help of my friends or family. Although I know my first response should be to turn to God, if I’m completely honest, it doesn’t always happen that way. How often am I challenged to exercise true faith? Am I taking enough risks?
Another challenging thought came from my pastor, who basically said that we don’t experience miracles because we don’t put ourselves in position to need them. This goes along the same lines…we’re not challenged to exercise our faith because we live such cushioned lives. I believe that God is faithful and that He will always provide what I need, but I haven’t often had those beliefs put to the test.
Writing this actually scares me a bit because I know God often responds to things like this by challenging us. But I really do want an authentic faith. I definitely don’t want to be lukewarm.
“I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm – neither hot nor cold – I am about to spit you out of my mouth.” ~Revelation 3:15
"
Babies
As I sat in church today, I watched people’s reactions to the baby a couple of rows in front of me. Almost everyone who walked by smiled at her, reached out to her, or made some sweet comment about her. Soon, another couple with a newborn baby came in and sat right in front of me and the same thing happened. And when the baby started fussing, people just looked over and smiled like it was the most precious thing they had ever heard. The crazy thing is that most of these people have never seen these babies before…they didn’t know the parents…they had no previous connection or relationship. Yet, they treat them with such love.
Babies possess this amazing, unexplainable magnetism. People can’t stay away from them. And people will do almost anything to make them (or keep them) happy.
As I observed all of this, I started to wonder when that all stops. At what age do people stop responding that way to kids? And why?
What if we treated everyone the way we treat babies? I’m not saying we should talk baby talk and pinch each other’s cheeks, but what if we smiled at everyone we met? What if we complimented each other and encouraged each other and were always excited to see each other (even people we didn’t know)? What if we loved unconditionally and did everything we could to help make each other’s lives better?
Instead of being quick to comfort those who are hurting and to meet their needs (like we do for babies), we are all too quick to turn away or ignore their cries for help.
What if we changed our perspective? How would it change the way we live?
Babies possess this amazing, unexplainable magnetism. People can’t stay away from them. And people will do almost anything to make them (or keep them) happy.
As I observed all of this, I started to wonder when that all stops. At what age do people stop responding that way to kids? And why?
What if we treated everyone the way we treat babies? I’m not saying we should talk baby talk and pinch each other’s cheeks, but what if we smiled at everyone we met? What if we complimented each other and encouraged each other and were always excited to see each other (even people we didn’t know)? What if we loved unconditionally and did everything we could to help make each other’s lives better?
Instead of being quick to comfort those who are hurting and to meet their needs (like we do for babies), we are all too quick to turn away or ignore their cries for help.
What if we changed our perspective? How would it change the way we live?
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Child of God
While I was working with my Kindergartners at church today, I realized how much their acceptance means to me. Sometimes I feel like I'm the kid who wants to fit in. I love when they remember my name & when they want me to play with them or hold their hand or want me to sit next to them. I don't always feel like going, but as soon as I'm there, I love it. I think a lot of times it does more to help me than I actually do for the kids.
There was one little girl there today whom I'd never seen before. She was really tiny & really quiet & looked much younger than the other kids. I tried to talk to her when she first got there, but she just acted really shy & went off to play somewhere else. Later, though, during the worship time, she came up next to me & wanted to hold my hand, then wanted me to pick her up. I held her while we were singing & she laid her head on my shoulder & completely relaxed. I think that's one of the best feelings in the world. And it was just as we were singing a song about being a child of God. It made me think of how much God must love us if He calls us his children. I didn't even know this little girl & I loved that she wanted to be close to me. How much more must God, our Father, love it when we want to crawl into His arms & surrender to Him. And why are we so reluctant to do so? It should be the place we most want to be.
There was one little girl there today whom I'd never seen before. She was really tiny & really quiet & looked much younger than the other kids. I tried to talk to her when she first got there, but she just acted really shy & went off to play somewhere else. Later, though, during the worship time, she came up next to me & wanted to hold my hand, then wanted me to pick her up. I held her while we were singing & she laid her head on my shoulder & completely relaxed. I think that's one of the best feelings in the world. And it was just as we were singing a song about being a child of God. It made me think of how much God must love us if He calls us his children. I didn't even know this little girl & I loved that she wanted to be close to me. How much more must God, our Father, love it when we want to crawl into His arms & surrender to Him. And why are we so reluctant to do so? It should be the place we most want to be.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Crazy Love
I'm reading this book called Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God by Francis Chan. It's really good & challenges a lot about the way I view God. One of the analogies that Chan gives really stuck out to me. He tells the reader to imagine being an extra in a movie. You get really excited about the two-fifths of a second in the movie that the back of your head can be spotted in a huge crowd. You invite all of your friends & family to see this movie about you, except it's really not about you at all. They'd probably think you were crazy.... Chan says this is how we view life a lot of times. We think it's all about us, when in reality, our lives are just a breath... Who do we think we are? It's all about God. Period.
Chan writes, "We have only our two-fifths-of-a-second-long scene to live. I don't know about you, but I want my two-fifths of a second to be about making much of God."
I want to turn my perspective around.
Chan writes, "We have only our two-fifths-of-a-second-long scene to live. I don't know about you, but I want my two-fifths of a second to be about making much of God."
I want to turn my perspective around.
Prayer
So, it's been a really long time since I've done this & I don't really even know where to start...
One thing that I've been struggling with a lot lately (well, I guess not just lately, but I've been thinking about it a lot more recently) is prayer. I feel like I just pray the same thing over & over again, but I don't know what else to say. And then I get so stuck on asking for things that I forget that I should really be worshiping God, but whatever I say never seems good enough or genuine enough. I think I have a hard time transferring my love for God from my head to my heart. I know a lot of stuff about God, but I don't always feel it. I know my relationship shouldn't be built on feelings, but it should be part of it, right? I think I've heard & read things about God so many times that I'm not awed by them like I should be...I don't let myself really take it all in & let it change me. How do I do that? How can I change my perspective? And how can I get out of this prayer rut? I need to remember God more & forget about myself.
It's really not about me at all.
One thing that I've been struggling with a lot lately (well, I guess not just lately, but I've been thinking about it a lot more recently) is prayer. I feel like I just pray the same thing over & over again, but I don't know what else to say. And then I get so stuck on asking for things that I forget that I should really be worshiping God, but whatever I say never seems good enough or genuine enough. I think I have a hard time transferring my love for God from my head to my heart. I know a lot of stuff about God, but I don't always feel it. I know my relationship shouldn't be built on feelings, but it should be part of it, right? I think I've heard & read things about God so many times that I'm not awed by them like I should be...I don't let myself really take it all in & let it change me. How do I do that? How can I change my perspective? And how can I get out of this prayer rut? I need to remember God more & forget about myself.
It's really not about me at all.
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