Hope & Disappointment

Sometimes I have a hard time planning things with people or getting excited about things because I'm afraid of being disappointed. This may seem silly, but I would much rather avoid the situation altogether, rather than getting my hopes up and then being let down. On the flip side, this sometimes makes me hesitant to commit to things because I don't want to be the one to disappoint others if I'm unable to follow through.

I realize that people aren't perfect, they don't always keep every commitment, circumstances change, and so on...such is life. But I have this fear, this doubt...which, as you can imagine, doesn't lead to a very exciting life!

In reading Romans this morning, I realized that I have this fear with God as well. Now, with people, it's somewhat warranted, but I know with God, it's just ridiculous. Romans 5:3-5 says, "We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."

I know the truth -- Hope in God will not disappoint us because God is faithful--always and forever. He won't leave us or forsake us.

But I'm still scared.

Of praying for something & not getting an answer.

Of seeking & not finding.

Of feeling let down.

I know the truth is that this isn't a failure on God's part, it's a lack of my own faith.

I know it in my head. I need it in my heart.